Being Mom to a Teenager

This is a record for me! Blogging two days in a row!

I just had to share how funny I find it to be a mom of a teenage daughter.

1. Her time in the bathroom has increased tenfold!
2. She can't pronounce "mom" the same way anymore. It comes out more like "moooom".
3. She has forgotten how to clean up behind herself.
4. Suddenly the opinion of how I dress has changed. I used to be beautiful. Now I need to stay in style.
5. She is worried that I purchased matching pajamas for her and her sisters this Christmas.
6. Her Christmas list is half as long now, but everything on it costs twice as much.
7. She has to look good everywhere we go now.
8. She makes these weird distorted faces when I tell her my opinions.
9. What's cool to her is patterned duct tape and colored pens.
10. I can't kiss her in public anymore.

What's really cool about being a mom of a teenage daughter:
1. She tells me everything.
2. I know I'll look good leaving the house if she sees me first.
3. Being silly together.
4. Enjoying the same movies together.
5. She can cook and clean!
6. She's a great big sister.
7. She still likes to hug me and cuddle up on the couch with me.
8. Seeing her grow into a beautiful young lady.
9. Watching her grow in her faith and love for Christ.
10. She is learning how to earn and spend her OWN money. :)

I am enjoying this stage! I'm so thankful for each of my girls and the lessons I learn in parenting along the way! God has blessed me so richly.

And Life Goes On...

I wish I thought to blog just a part of the thoughts that come to my mind. Yet in this season of life I find it difficult to take time away from my kids to do so. Since my last blog (WAY back in July) I have celebrated my oldest becoming a teen, been part of the pinning ceremony for my husband, now a warrant officer, almost come half-way through another school year, and continued to struggle with the grieving of my grandmother.

I prepare to finish wrapping the gifts to place under the tree tonight. My children seem to be my only motivation these days as Christmas approaches. Many days I feel like I'm in a dark and lonely place. It feels like the pain will never end. I've had so few people in my life that I completely trusted and loved with all of my heart. I am trying to stay focused on the real reason of the holidays. My 4 year old is the one constantly commenting about Jesus' birthday and how important it was for Him to be born a baby so He could save us. I love to see the world through her eyes.

I don't know many people who have dealt with grief. I wonder how fine the line is between grief and depression. So few know my battle, I can't believe I even mention it here. Sadly, no one even mentions her much anymore. I guess I look fine from the outside. The most unfortunate thing that has come from my loss has probably been realizing how self-focused everyone really is. I have truly appreciated those that have been there for me, and I know I was very clear about my relationship with my grandmother to all that were around me but people forget. I have a friend that lost her mother this year. I know she also will have a hard Christmas. The holidays are hard without the people you love. This year I plan to stay in my home with my family. I don't care to venture out or celebrate with anyone else. Maybe next year will be different, but right now I live one day at a time.

Lessons from Wallpaper

Most of today was spent removing wallpaper from my bedroom walls followed by painting a layer of primer. As I was doing so I was listening to Christian music on my ipod. As I worked I had several thoughts and found myself spending time talking with my Savior as I worked. It may seem a bit cheesy, but as I removed the wallpaper, I was thinking of all the sins in my life and even the lives of others. I thought about how much I disliked removing this wallpaper and having to prime the walls to cover the unsightly appearance. I kept thinking toward the end result when it would be what I finally wanted. How painful was that experience for my Savior to have to die to remove and cover the unsightliness of my life. I am so ugly at the core sometimes that I cannot believe He still loves me. Yet it is because I can recognize that ugliness that His beauty can cover me. One day I will be the finished product He wants me to be if I surrender myself fully to Him. I must be willing to keep taking off my own sinful layers and replacing them with His beauty. His beauty is reflected from me when I obey Him, study His Word, and fulfill the destiny He has placed within me. My destiny holds more than I am aware of right now, but I do know it includes being a witness and testimony to others, being a godly wife and mother, and using the spiritual gifts He has given me. If I can continue seeking after Him, I will be fulfilled and receive my eternal rewards in glory. My ugliness will be completely stripped away and the finished product will be worth it all.


In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace.
Ephesians 1:7

Never too late

I've really spent a lot of time reflecting and praying the last couple of months. I have struggled with failures and not measuring up for so long though much of it is not justified. I have really been feeling so down because of so many marriages I've seen falling apart, especially among people I know. I begin wondering how Satan wants to attack my marriage. I've decided I will not let that happen.

I have really rededicated myself to my marriage. I love my husband with all that I am. I know I haven't been the wife he needs and I am working actively to change that. It is so easy to get caught up in day to day routines and being a mom, working full time, volunteering, etc. However, my first responsibility is to my husband.

Even after we've been married for over 13 years I find I am able to start some things new and lay down the weights that have been holding me down. I have truly enjoyed more time and conversations with my husband. We feel we've reconnected, something we've long needed.

We're in this marriage for the long haul! Till death do we part. I realize I am fighting a battle for my marriage. A battle against Satan and the world. We have 3 beautiful daughters that remind us what's important too.

Emotions

Some days go by so quickly that I'm without time to go beyond the daily expectations. Other days are quite the opposite, brief moments turning into long mental events. I've always been a very emotional person. I laugh with people and cry with people. My mom tells stories of my Lassie watching days and that I just couldn't watch Old Yeller. Pathetic perhaps, but I never have liked the fact that I'm such an emotional person.

It seems as I get older that the emotional roller coaster only worsens. These days it is further compounded by my grandmother's death. I hate dealing with emotions. They're like an added weight to my body, a weight I'd like to lose.

Maybe someday I'll be the victor over my emotions. Maybe not. Either way, I continue the battle, and yes it is a battle.