Changing

Growing up I was always the first to jump at opportunities. Always an extrovert looking to make new friends, go to events, hang out with groups...you get the idea. I didn't want to miss anything.

I don't know what it is. Is it getting older? Increased responsibilities at home? Tired from working? No longer do I want 'out' as much as I formerly did. I enjoy being home. I don't want to spend time on the phone. Facebook has been perfect because I can still know what people do without leaving my couch.

I also have experienced a lot of hurts in my life. Hurts from people that are supposed to care, supposed to be my friends, my family. I think in other ways that has made me prefer to be more alone. My enjoyment is found with my girls, being home with my own family. I have tired of trying to understand people. I don't want any more disappointments. I don't want to explain myself or try to figure out why people can't accept me as I am.

Well I suppose this seems a depressing blog! There are days that I am. I just keep talking to God even when no one else wants to listen. No explanations are needed for Him. He already knows. Maybe someday my faith in humanity will be restored. Maybe I will enjoy the way I once was. For now I will try to find peace with how I have changed.