I wrote this Aug. 9. We did stop by my grandfather's grave today. It was hard, but I wanted my girls to see that. We hadn't been in a couple of years. I took some pictures. I told the girls that in the future they may not make it down here and that I wanted them to know about their family and to have some memories of them. We're at my dad's right now in Alabama until Saturday. The kids had a great time swimming with Papa this afternoon. In the pool GEM kept saying, "Papa, I need you!" I'm so glad they enjoy being around my family, especially since they don't see them very often.
The girls were very entertaining for Granny. HEM always has so much to say and just can’t tell it fast enough. Reminds me so much of myself! The girls played most of the day. EMM was telling Grandma on the phone how hot it was here. It was a rather humid day.
As long as I can remember, Mr. Turner has been Granny’s next door neighbor. He came to Granddaddy’s visitation back in ’97. He said he remembered buying candy bars from me as a child for school fund raisers. Today I found out he’s not doing well. He fell and was significantly injured. It is not likely he will be returning home. He is mostly blind and can’t hear well or get around well. I noticed his back yard also has grass where his garden once grew. I asked Granny if she missed having a garden today. She said she didn’t miss the work but really missed the big tomatoes, new potatoes, and beans Granddaddy grew. She said he put a lot of time, work, and money into that garden. It was always so good.
Granny was fascinated watching the girls play today. She couldn’t believe how patient they were as they took the time to set up their Polly Pockets. It takes so long for HEM and EMM to get them all dressed in those little rubber clothes and set everything up as they like, but they never get tired of it. She asked how long they’d been playing with them. I told her for several years now. Even GEM enjoys playing with them. Of course she wants to do whatever her sisters are doing anyway.
Tomorrow I’m hoping to relax with nowhere to go. Mama is off from her day job Tuesday and Wednesday. Granny has a doctor’s appointment Tuesday morning Mama is taking her to. I’m sure I’ll doing something with her while she’s off. We’re headed to my dad’s Thursday and staying through Saturday. I told Granny we were going to church with her Sunday. She seemed excited that we are going with her. Still haven’t seen Joey yet. Melissa came by briefly the other day, but no indication of when they’d be over. I thought Lori was going to call me today so we could arrange time together with them, but she never called. I’ll just wait and see if she calls in the next couple of days. I’m just a bit tired at the moment and not feeling too social yet. I guess it’s because we’ve not really sat in one place yet since we’ve arrived. The girls seem happy to stay put for a little while, too. We have plenty of time ahead of us for planning this trip anyway.
I was thinking today that I should go visit Granddaddy’s grave. I don’t think I did that last summer when I was home. It’s always such an emotional time. I often think about what could have been if he were still around. I wouldn’t want him to be around for the sake of fighting failing health though. I just wish more than anything that he could have known I did finish school and that he could meet my girls. He would have loved them so much and I know they would have adored him. I guess it does no good to wish for what could never be, but I would love to hear him up in the middle of the night going to the fridge or go with him to Krispy Kreme. Just to hug him one more time and tell him how much I love him. I can’t help but wonder will the loss of my grandmother affect me to the degree the loss of my grandfather has over the years. It left a hole in me that I can’t fill with anything else. Over the years I have pushed the memory of him further back in my mind, but coming home brings it flooding back. I am going to take pictures of the girls here at the house as final memories here. I realize that the days of being at 1311 9th Ave. are coming to an end and that this will be someone else’s home, most likely in the near future. I find that hard to believe, but I know that it’s a reality. Granny seems so tired and I wonder if there will come a point where she just doesn’t want to wake up anymore. Her faith is strong. She knows something better awaits her. I believe she’ll see Granddaddy when she gets to heaven and that they’ll recognize one another. I just wonder what our memories are like when we do get to heaven. If it’s a place of no sorrow or sadness, just how many memories can we take? It’s so complicated. I guess when you get there it really isn’t relevant.
I hope to do quite a few things while I’m here. I want to hear stories from Granny that I can record to share with my children when they’re older and don’t remember as much about Granny.